I’m going to give two disclaimers before I begin:
#1 I am in no way better than anyone because of my home birth experience. Nor do my preferences of the natural approaches make me somehow better by any means. This is just what I feel is best for my family (with lots of research and prayer of course.) I ALWAYS make an effort to advise those who ask me about my preferences or plans to do research themselves, to figure out what is best and safest for them.
#2 If you do not like long stories, this post is not for you.
My first experience was nothing short of a miracle, it was my literal dream birth. Yes, it was painful and it was very hard on my body, but God showed up and came through in so many incredible ways I can’t even describe. I was three days past my due date, I pumped twice and then after 12 1/2 hours of labor, with 20 minutes of pushing, my son was here! No complications, no issues at all. He was perfect. We had worship music and prayer to set the tone of the entire experience, God’s presence and peace was truly there.
My postpartum recovery (healing wise) was amazing. I was up and walking around within a day. My energy came back with a punch, and I felt GOOD. My mental and emotional health however, didn’t follow suit..
I struggled with my physical changes from pregnancy to postpartum. Tyler’s aunt told me not too long after he was born: “there is nothing like seeing yourself in the mirror for the first time post birth, it’s brutal.” It was one of the most relatable and somehow encouraging things anyone had said to me at that time, and honestly, I needed someone to be that real with me. There is nothing like the raw, relatable truth to heal a new mother’s heart.
As for our daughter? Well, buckle your seat belt and hold on tight.
I was yet again three days past due. I had tiny bits of my water break at a time the previous day or two, but nothing concerning. I wanted to make sure my son had his birthday before I tried self-inducing (by pumping or with the “midwife drink”.) I pumped just after 12 pm on Tuesday the 16th and bounced on the ball like crazy in anticipation. Little did I expect the week I was about to have.
After a chiropractic appointment that afternoon, practically begging the poor woman to find all the labor inducing pressure points she could, I had made progress! Contractions were getting more painful and very slowly consistent. By 8 or 9 pm, I was in the bathtub focusing on my breathing, preparing for an overnight labor like before. I fell asleep between 2 to 3 AM, my body then woke up in a vengeance with contractions. I was so exhausted and ready to deliver, but it felt like nothing was happening. Then after a few more hours of labor, I attempted sleeping on the couch but contractions were so strong, they kept me awake. My body finally relaxed enough to sleep from 6 to 7:30 am. And that’s when it finally happened — my water broke. Part of me was scared because my body didn’t feel ready, but the other half of me was just excited at the idea of being done!
We called the midwives and had them come over with intentions of figuring out how to progress the process. I took a very long, and tiresome walk with my mom and sister that resulted in nothing. Then drank the “midwife drink” while bouncing on the ball. Let me just tell you that bouncing, caster oil and an empty stomach do NOT mix, and I’ll just leave the rest to your imagination. I tried walking again along with pushing on my pressure points, and got nothing. I tried pumping, more walking, bouncing and swerving, more pressure points, a shower, the drink again and more. My body just didn’t want to progress, it was like it would start then stop. I was so discouraged by nightfall. I felt so weak and emotional too. We prayed and worshiped through the whole journey choosing to trust God even in our lack of understanding. When it hit 3 AM, we all sat down to discuss our options. That sent me into further heartbreak.
For those who do not know or are not aware. When your water breaks, you are looking at a roughly 24 hour timeline before it becomes a risk of infection. As much as we desired a home birth, we were not willing to jeopardize the safety of our child for it. No dream nor desire will ever rank higher than our children and their safety. So after much prayer and contemplating we chose to take a 20 minute nap to see if resting would kick labor back in. They ended up letting us sleep for 1 ½ hours, considering we had already been up all day Tuesday into Wednesday. When we were awoken and with no contractions in sight, we made the call to leave for the hospital. I snuck off to my room afterward to bawl my eyes out, distraught at how my body and my plans had failed me. My sister woke up to my tears and told everyone what was going on. I looked up to see my husband then mom, sister, mother-in-law, and both midwives come in to encourage and check on me. It was one of my most treasured moments to date. Showing me so much love, compassion and understanding. Each one of them taking turns at relatability. It was so healing and needed for what I was about to go through. I will never forget that memory, I will cherish it forever and they probably have no clue how much it impacted my life.
My mom and sister drove us to the hospital, and we arrived around 8 am. I was scared out of my mind, yet somehow I felt this inexplicable sense of peace at the same time. After some blood tests, an ultrasound and many other routine things they confirmed my water broke and that there was only one pocket of fluid left holding up the works. I was surprised to hear however, that I was only dilated to two centimeters! They agreed that I needed to be induced as soon as possible, so they proceeded to take me back to the delivery room to get “hooked up”.
After about an hour on Pitocin it still felt as if nothing was progressing, so I decided to take a nap. Two hours later I woke up in a panic trying to figure out where I was and what was going on. It wasn’t long before the contractions were really starting to kick in and become consistent. I labored in the tub for a few hours and then felt pushing urges. They moved me to the bed and confirmed I finally got to a 7! I was a little stressed however, when the doctor told me she wanted to wait to break the rest of my water due to her head doctor being in the middle of a c-section. So after “holding tight” for an hour, I was ready to push. The doctor checked again, finding me at an 8, and requested that I hold off pushing for as long as possible because she was still waiting on the head doctor. She left, and before long I found myself on hands and knees fighting against my body’s urges and feeling quite scared. Meanwhile, the doctor was hanging out by the nurses station STILL WAITING!
All of a sudden, POP! The water gushed out of me and baby was starting to come out! I couldn’t fight it back any longer, she was well on her way. My husband yelled for the doctor in a panic, because unbeknownst to me I was over the edge of the bed and could very well have plopped her out onto the floor.
My mom RAN out to get the doctor saying, “That water broke!”
The doctor very casually replied, “Oh, okay. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“No, like she’s crowning right now!”
The doctor finally decided to come back to the room, and once she saw the situation she quickly believed us. So after she switched gears and calling for nurses, this woman has the nerve to ask if I can “flip over”!
“No!” I exclaimed in pain and disbelief. After a few moments of prepping the area, she asked yet AGAIN if I could flip onto my back. We ended up going back and forth about five times. Finally she gave up and just requested I shift forward (I still didn’t know I was so far off the bed.) My husband was an absolute trooper through it all, and stuck by my side to support me through that whole traumatic experience.
After less than five minutes of intentional pushing, she was FINALLY HERE! Five hours of active labor and five minutes of pushing later and our beautiful, precious daughter was finally here. We both bawled and were consumed by overwhelming peace and love for this tiny human we get to call our daughter.
I wasn’t aware until they told me, but it turned out that I tore 1-2 degrees. So 10 stitches later, here I am! Throughout this whole time the only “drugs” I had were the Pitocin and numbing cream for stitches. I get to proudly say I accomplished both my births painkiller free! It definitely made me feel less like my body failed me.
I still struggle, but getting to say that I had a relatively natural birth makes me feel so fulfilled. I may not have gotten the exact experience I ultimately wanted, but God knew best. My baby is safe, I’m safe, and that’s all that truly matters. And even in the midst of it all God still fulfilled my desire to have a natural birth and He helped carry me through the physical and emotional trauma of it all.
God. is. Good!
We believe names are really important. What you name a person tends to define them, we see this all throughout the bible. Sometimes God even renamed a person and gave them a better name after they had an encounter with him. Because of this, we wanted God to help us pick out our children’s names. For our son, the Lord lead us to name him Asa David, our Beloved Healer. For our little girl, we ended up landing on Shiloh Joy.
For our son, we had a list of names and God pointed Asa out to us. At that time we didn’t even know he was a boy, but it seemed like one that would fit either way. Asa was a king in the bible, but the reason we noticed the name is because it means Healer. Apparently the Lord liked it too! For his middle name, we had picked out Declan, but then the Lord let us know we needed to be particular and possibly reconsider his name. I had the name David keep coming back to me over the next week, and I didn’t even like that name very much! However, my Grandfather (My Mom’s dad) whom I loved very much was named David, and he passed away when I was 11. So at the Lord’s prompting, we gave our son the middle name David, which means Beloved. You should have seen how my Mom’s face lit up while she cried when she learned that we named our son in part after her daddy.
So we ended up with Asa David, our Beloved Healer. He is very loved by us and especially by God. He has been my healing, bringing so much joy and light to my heart. We know that there are going to be a lot of people who are going to receive and experience God’s love out of the intimacy that Asa himself will have with his Heavenly Father, and through that many people will be healed in every way.
Her first name, Shiloh, has many special meanings and facets of significance. Primarily, and the reason we chose it at the Lord’s direction is that it carries the meaning “a dwelling place for God” or “a place of God’s presence“. You won’t find these meanings listed in a bible dictionary, but rather they are derived from the fact that Shiloh was the place that the Ark of the Covenant and the Tabernacle were first set up when the Israelites divided up the promised land. In the Old Testament, the Ark of the Covenant carried the presence of God, so it seemed right that a place where it primarily remained for hundreds of years would become associated with God’s presence.
Another significant fact we realized after we had her is that Shiloh is where Hannah asked God for a son, and thus Samuel was born. I wasn’t supposed to have children either, but now I have two! That isn’t a coincidence!
Her middle name, Joy, is fairly self explanatory. However, for us it goes even further than that. We truly believe that she is the joy on our life, just as our son has been the healing (Asa means “healer”.) She will reach countless people for the Lord and be a light for His kingdom, exuberating His unexplainable joy and peace through the manifestation and expression of his presence.
We are so beyond blessed by these incredible miracles God has given us. And will always treasure these amazing birth stories that came with them.