Tyler and I met in 2020. Yes, as in the big “Covid” year! I had just made a huge transition in my life by moving from Missouri, where I spent 90% of my upbringing. I left all those I knew and loved. My home church, friends, childhood memories as a whole. They were all gone. My family and I were called to move to West Virginia, where all of my remaining grandparents live. To be honest, we had no idea why God was doing this. We literally traveled in full time ministry all over the states, over 275 days out of the year.. every year. So the question remained, “why?”
Well, a few months before we made that move, I had 6 encounters with people from completely different backgrounds tell me I was going to meet my future husband there. I thought every single one of them was crazy (or bad at jokes), because I was so convinced I was moving back to Missouri the first chance I got. Totally humble, right? Little did I know the lessons I was about to learn. It wasn’t that I hated my family, or despised God’s plan. I was just purely heart broken over leaving my entire life behind. Looking back now, I have no clue how I would’ve accomplished such a thing, even with God’s help. Thankfully, He loved me enough to protect me from going down that and many other paths. Let me take a second to pause right here and explain some raw, personal things.
My parents were incredible. They have been the most God filled, inspiring people I know. Yet, like every human being, they had their downfalls. They made mistakes, some that I’m sure I will repeat myself, as it is the natural course of generational patterns. Beyond everything though, they loved me unconditionally; by the grace of God and their faithful prayers, I’m still alive. I went through a very dark season transitioning from childhood to adulthood. It was not pretty and it was in fact, quite ugly at times. I said and did things I regret to this day. Did my parents warn me not to make those decisions? Of course! Was I going to listen? No. Just like almost every other kid on this planet, I thought I could handle the consequences. How little I grasped the weight I would feel even years later from those choices.
One of those choices was that I was constantly getting my heart entangled with boys. Yes, I saved my body for marriage, but I had very little problem getting emotionally involved. Even worse, I was disobedient to my parents. I also had struggles with female friendships. These things cost me in more ways than I probably realize to this day. I was constantly being lied to, manipulated and worst of all, bullied. I had all the marbles. I was gifted with empathy and sympathy, which in and of themselves are amazing qualities. However, when those gifts are misused they are like poison to the soul, and I loved using them in whatever way suited me best. “Friends” would tell over and over again that I was too talkative, too bubbly, too happy, too “in your face”, etc. Then they would leave, right then and there, leaving me friendless on so many occasions.
So what did I do? I’d pick whoever would stick around. I would get so obsessed with keeping friends that I would “customize” my personality to whatever would make them stay, or at the least be nice to me. On top of that whole mess, the devil decided to have fun with my mental state, and convince me I was suicidal. From the ages of 12 through 16, I would “attempt” suicide in countless ways. The worst mistake I made in this season, was not telling anyone. I never told my family or friends. I felt I had no one to talk to, and that it would just confirm I was crazy. More importantly, I was scared people would reject me yet again, and claim my struggles were just for “attention”.
I have learned so much since that time in my life, such as the importance of being vulnerable even when it scares me. It is safer to be open and honest with your loved ones than hiding in the shadows, and suffering the consequences!
You’re probably asking yourself by now, “why do I need to know all this?” The answer is that it all played a big part in forming the person I’ve become today. Had I done anything differently, had I not made every last one of those mistakes, and especially had my parents not let go and entrusted me to God, there’s a good chance I wouldn’t have this amazing life that I have today! So, that brings us back to the present.
After we made (what I thought was) the biggest transition and move of my life, I met the most wonderful man, MY husband! Oh, how I adore saying that! Let me tell you though, God was not done challenging me yet. From the first moment I met him, I knew I would grow to love him; I had the words “I could marry this man” enter my head. My husband however, took a bit longer to catch up. We hadn’t even started dating when the conversation of marriage entered the picture. God worked out every detail of our relationship in His own beautiful timing. That’s where the secret comes in, we didn’t try to make it happen. We let God take control and trusted that no matter the outcome, He knew best. The funny part is that before meeting Tyler I had actually given up on men, or rather I was in the middle of a “committed semi-long term break”. But that ended quickly when I met this hunk of a man.
Fast forward to a few weeks into getting to know each other, I realized we were definitely NOT on the same page spiritually. I struggled with it for most of our dating relationship. The one thing that kept me going was knowing that God told me he was going to change, learn, and grow. So unlike most of my life, I took the time to be committed in prayer and spiritual warfare for him. Slowly but surely, God worked on his heart; especially in the moments and in the ways I couldn’t see.
Now, before you take what I’m saying and go on a rant about changing your significant other, let me take the time to emphasize that I put him in God’s hands. I let God work on him in His timing and in His ways and not in mine. I put my trust in the fact that God would always have his best interests in mind; again, NOT mine. Yes, of course there were prayers prayed in frustration or with selfish intent, but I didn’t stay in those unhealthy mindsets. I quickly made sure to ask forgiveness for my own faults, and that God’s will would be done. Now, after what felt like an eternity, my husband is the most Spirit filled, on fire for the Lord man I have ever seen. And I will forever be giving God the glory for that.
Tyler and I got married October 5th of 2022. It was one of the best days of our life; however, it came with a very unexpected surprise: the conception of our incredible son, Asa D. McLaughlin (born at home the following July via water birth.) Part of why he was such a shock was due to me getting diagnosed with endometriosis the year prior. I honestly thought it would take months, if not years to have children of our own. But even in my husband’s skepticism about the deeper things of God, he had the faith I didn’t, and with no doubt was completely convinced we’d have kids (talk about conviction!) We are currently waiting any day now for our daughter to arrive, due around our son’s first birthday (planned to be another water birth). I am fully convinced that God has a sense of humor. He truly does use everything for His glory, including me, which is hard to believe at times.
We wanted to share all of these things so that you to get to know who we are, and what motivates us to do what we do. I have always been in love with the idea of homesteading, and before you ask: yes, I watched Little House on the Prairie ALL of my childhood. It was a big part of my upbringing and I give most of the credit to my amazing Mama for the love of most things in my life, including that. After countless videos and Pinterest board ideas, I was all too eager to grow a garden when Ty and I got married. Unfortunately we had very little success last year, mostly due to a lack of time and attention plus heavy clay dirt. This year we decided to recommit to our garden, and even did some DIY’s along the way (such as raised garden beds) to help improve it and its potential. We are so beyond excited even though it is a very humble start, and can only grow from here (pun intended). We cannot wait to take you on this journey with us, sharing updates, successes, failures and encouragements as we grow…
Welcome to our Homestead <3